What do you mean I can’t kiss you in public?


I have to talk about this new phenomena in the dating world…the pre-checklist of things you can and cannot do if you want to date me.

In the last five years since my divorce I’ve been dating and it ain’t pretty out there.  At the age of forty-four I am confident, beautiful, intelligent, independent and funny but these are not the characteristics men are looking for these days.

On a first date I have heard  a laundry list of things that they want and don’t want.  Whatever happened to waiting for those things to be an issue?

My last partner was public phobic and didn’t want attention, I broke him of that real fast come on you really think you can stop ME from expressing myself? 

At other times I’ve heard a list of boundaries which keeps me wondering if these men are looking for a partner or a version of themselves.  They are controlling from the get-go about their expectations and limitations.

It’s extremely frustrating to meet a guy and the first words out of his mouth are: ” I don’t like going to the beach, hanging out with family and I don’t watch comedies”.

So I have developed my own pre-checklist of things I want in a man:
  1. You must be able to cook Lasagna
  2. You must love dogs
  3. Laughing and making fun of yourself is mandatory
  4. If you like younger women don’t date me
  5. If you are looking for a Mom I don’t do kids
  6. References to Simpsons, Seinfeld and any other show is awesome
  7. Hopeless Romantic (me so happy)
  8. Kissing, Holding Hands and Showing Affection is needed even in public
  9. Fixing things and heavy lifting is often required.
  10. Good listener will get you lots of brownie points
Now you will notice that my pre-checklist does not include things I don’t like, it is all about positive things that can make a relationship better…as Homer stated “You know something, folks, as ridiculous as this sounds, I would rather feel the sweet breath of my beautiful wife on the back of my neck as I sleep, than stuff dollar bills into some stranger’s G-string”.

Most important of all for me is to find my best friend, lover, soulmate all in one: someone to laugh, cry, talk, fight and sleep with (having a wicked pillow fight is awesome too)

In the meantime my dog Tiger has prime spot on the bed lol.  I share the love of dogs with my neighbour Amanda.  I can laugh at myself with my friends.  I date younger men.  I have good friends to help me fix things and I will hold out and be a hopeless romantic until the day I die.