The Blonde Effect

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  This question brings about another very interesting example of cause and effect; which came first, the blonde or the dumb moments?  

In my case this theory is still evolving as we speak and what makes it even more perplexing is that I use hair dye to create my golden locks. 

I’ve always felt however that being blonde is a state of mind not just a hair colour hence why I have dubbed this “The Blonde Effect”.  

I have tested this theory many times by changing my hair colour to red, brown and black only to feel out of sorts and quickly going back to blonde.

Now if we look at being blonde as a state of mind it is understandable that some of the characteristics would go along with the hair colour.  In my case I’ve also gained the ability to have dumb moments or as I prefer to call them-Blonde Moments.

I could highlight quite a few incidents of Blonde Moments but I don’t think you would be able to bear the blunt of it.  I am perfectly happy to relay a few in an effort to discuss causality which is defined as cause (blonde hair) and effect(dumb moment) – Anything that affects an effect is a factor of that effect. A direct factor is a factor that affects an effect directly, that is, without any intervening factors.  

1. Two year ago police began enforcing the ban on hand-held cell phone use while driving, helping to make roads safer.  My sister and I were going camping and stopped to get a coffee at Tim’s.  She was driving and I was the passenger.  I was talking on my phone and suddenly saw a cop car pass by so I quickly ducked down in my seat.  My sister was perplexed and asked what I was doing and I brought up the ban on talking on your phone.  With a strong bout of endless laughter she informed me that this only applied to those who were driving….
Blonde Moment.

2. I was sitting at a bar with my friend Jessica and ordered a beer.  It tasted disgusting with some kind of sweet aftertaste.  I promptly told the bartender and she dumped it out and handed me another one…when I took a drink it was the same thing, surely I wasn’t subject to a bad batch of beer.  It took a few minutes before I realized what was causing this taste; it was my berry lip gloss…Blonde Moment.

3. A few years ago I was car-pooling a co-worker back and forth from work.  One morning we stopped at a coffee shop drive-thru to grab some java.  The line-up was a bit chaotic and I saw a truck which I thought was trying to get in the line; it was there before me so I wanted to show some driver etiquette.  I motioned the driver to go ahead and he looked at me perplexed gesturing in a way that indicated he had no idea what I was talking about by shrugging his shoulders and motioning with his hands that he didn’t have a steering wheel.  Upon closer inspection I realized along with my co-worker already in hysterics that this individual was in the passenger seat and the truck was parked…Blonde Moment.

Now I could go on and on but I think these examples serve as an answer to the question of which came first, the blonde or the dumb moments?  My theory is that the dye acts as an agent to transform my brain based on the hair colour and therefore revamps my personality to match the expectation of the hair colour.

No…I don’t really believe that, I just think that it’s fantastic to have a hair colour I can blame for having dumb moments…it comes in handy especially when it involves authority figures such as police officers to play the dumb blonde.  In relationships with men it can go both ways, some men think that because I am blonde that I am just hair and body no brain.  While others just appreciate the comic relief I provide when the “Blonde Moments” materialize.   

I can appreciate that some of you are reading this and might think that hair colour is just a colour but believe me the Blonde Effect is real and I would rather be a blonde with blonde moments any day….long live Barbie.  

In an effort to be politically correct I would hope that when you encounter a blonde that you would refer to her “moments” as blonde moments and/or the blonde effect…dumb blonde is derogatory.  Many blondes have excelled and continue to be productive members of society.

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