The Leftovers

As a single person you sometimes meet people that seem compatible and sensible.  In that
brief moment when your eyes connect across the dance floor or on the subway
platform, only to realize they are living in the past with baggage from a previous relationship.  I call this The Leftovers.
I recently encountered this type of person and I thought I would
share with you what happened. It was Friday night and I headed out to the local
bar to meet my awesome friends Jessica, Bridget, Elissa and Jay.
  I was dolled up with my hair pinned back, a very
uncommon occurrence for me when I go out.  Usually I’m all about looking
young and hot with my blonde hair straightened and loose but I think I still
pulled it off with the up-do as you can see on the left.  Who could resist
my killer eyes and big smile :))?
I mentioned in my last post that
on that same weekend my ex-boyfriend was at the other end of the bar and I
wanted to kick him in the nuts.  I was moody hence the “D”
before the word Anger.  I’ve since come a long way from that
“place” thanks greatly to my daughter’s advice.
OK back to the story at hand; I sat in a chair close to the pool table away from the crowd in an
effort to calm down a bit and that’s when I was approached by a nice looking
guy.   He proceeded to chat me up and comment on my spectacular looks
(just adding some props to still looking hot at 45).  He bought me a beer, chit-chatted
a bit, mostly about himself and asked for my number – Oh Snap – I knew he was
younger than me but then again Cougars don’t mind right?  

I got a call from him on Monday and we rambled on for over an
hour.  He told me about his living situation, jobs, interests and past
loves.  The highlight of our discussion was his attempt to be frank about
his exes.  He talked about a girl he was with for a long time that was
close to his age but he ended up cheating on her with an older woman.  I
asked if the older woman was from the hood we both live in and he said she was.
 I asked what her name is and he declined to tell me….hmmmmm.
  He ended up coming over to my house and chilling for a few hours,
it was all very casual and sin free.  He left at about eleven and I heard
from him briefly on Tuesday through text.

Now are you ready for the kicker….when he
was mentioning the older woman he was pretty expressive about his feelings and I
figured out who she was.   Her and I sat together and had a heart
to heart a few months ago and she had mentioned a young guy who was
really into her (she wasn’t kidding).  I put two and two together just like
that.  I might seem like a dumb blonde but I’ve got some killer instincts
and as some of my friends say; I would have made a great lawyer.

On Wednesday the woman in question contacted me to say Hi  on Facebook and I asked her if she knew this guy, she said
“why”?  I said isn’t he the one you told me about? She said
“yeah”?  The two of us giggled like teenagers and we decided to
expose him.
 Oh the drama was hilarious, back and forth he texted her then called me,
called her and texted me.  My final comment to him was don’t contact me
again and I don’t want any one’s leftovers.  As my co-worker Adam astutely
pointed out “leftovers are only good when they are refrigerated”

This is my definition of leftoversunprocessed feelings that remains from the previous
relationship and result in emotional/spiritual/sexual
containers cluttering the refrigerator of our minds. The ultimate fate of leftovers depends on how
satisfying the relationship was.
I’ve been in this guy’s shoes and ultimately a leap of faith has to happen.  You have to cut all ties,
references and desire to return to this “leftover” state.  To
begin you have to clean out the (fridge) – your mind.
 Throw away all the (containers) – memories that are holding you back from finding a
healthy relationship. 

I am a leftover but somehow with perseverance, great friends
and this blog as my outlet I am moving towards being a satisfying dish
.  In the meantime I draw strength from my friends, family and
co-workers as they keep me grounded and on the right track.  

What’s in your fridge?


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