They Love Me – They Really Love Me


It all started years ago when my sister was taking a psychology
class at school.  She came home and asked my friends and me to draw a
picture of our families for her school project. 

I drew my two
brothers and dad all the same height on one side of our house and I drew my mom
and sister on the other side of the house proportionate to the other family
members.  When my sister looked at the picture perplexed she turned to me
and asked where I was, I pointed to a small dot in front of the door.  

Crayons – I’m the red vibrant one :))

In a nutshell that was the opinion I held of myself then and for over forty
years- just a small dot overlooked, misunderstood and insignificant.
I tried to change
that, in fact I never stopped trying to change that to the point where the
self-analysis made me seem crazy to others. 
I channeled my creativity and wrote songs, plays, poems and stories all
in hopes that others would see how special I was or at least real.
I worked on my external beauty, surely if I was stunning others
wouldn’t overlook me but my weight expanded instead to shelter my soul from the
mean-spiritedness of others intent on keeping me as a small dot. 

I tried re-inventing, analyzing, researching, mimicking others and
dreaming all in the hopes that I would find my place in this world.  I longed with all my heart for that fairy
tale: someone finding me, waking me from my sleep and loving me unconditionally
but I faced disappointment time after time, I met the mother load of toads but
none of them turned into a prince. 
Prince Charming I think not…I wouldn’t kiss these but sadly I have lol
I worked
tirelessly to surmount every obstacle that came my way, I pushed in doors that
others feared and somehow it was all to arrive exactly to this point, this day,
this hour, this minute and second.  
I’ve worked for
the same company for over ten years and about five years ago after losing
weight and making changes in my life I decided I wanted to do something for the
employees I work with.  
I was on the
Health & Safety Committee and I proposed an Employee Wellness Fair.
 Once the idea was approved I took the helm, formed a committee and
created a brand, a critical path for the event and sought out the resources to
make it happen.  For five years I lead and organized this event adding
more and more to encourage employees to look after their health &
well-being.
Last Friday
morning as I was returning from a bathroom break at work the light on my phone
was flashing to indicate a message.  It was the President of the company
calling and asking me to return his call.  I nervously dialed the number
but his assistant indicated he was on another call.  I waited anxiously at
my desk and finally the phone rang, small chit-chat was exchanged and then he
said.  “Gail I’ve had to make some hard phone calls lately (we just
had a workforce reduction) but this is one call I am happy to be making.”
 “Gail you have won the President’s Award for Engagement.”
 OMG you couldn’t take the perma-smile off my face, to be acknowledge in
this way was surreal.  
In the first part
of my story I talked about how insignificant I felt before….not anymore.
 Not only because of this award but also this blog, the newsletter I’ve
designed for my department, the networking I do and how amazing it feels to
impact others.
I’ve always wanted
to come alive and grow from the dot I drew on that page years ago and ironically my theme song is I’m Alive by Celine Dion, and now I’m
feeling alive like a giant who found a golden egg and it’s honestly the best I’ve ever had.  This
recognition has propelled my growth and a light bulb finally lit up inside of
me….I don’t need to wait for someone to find me I’m the one I’ve been waiting
to find. 

I wasn’t looking for prince charming I was searching for me and
man does it feel good to know that this lost girl is finally not on the back of
a milk carton anymore but in fact here and ready for the next chapter.  

Do
I feel happy – yes and as I continue to grow I am ready to impact, shine
and stand tall as the Gail I’ve always wanted to be….I have arrived and although I now have the love from others I craved for so long…”they love me, they really love me.” The best feeling in the world is that I love myself, the light is on and the bubbles of creative juices are brewing.


Quote form The Little Prince by Antoine de SaintExupéry

3 comments

  1. Yes, it is a nice feeling to know that you are loved by others and they appreciate all the hard work you are doing or have done. At times you may feel that nobody is listening/reading only because we don't always see an immediate response. We don't always know what is going on in the background. The phone call from the President of the company is a prime example. keep up the good work and I'll in no doubt be back. Real nice post.

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