She’s Got The Look

are things in life we take for granted and some that we nurture for the right
or wrong reasons… 

My obsession with how I look began back in grade one. I was mocked by family and peers about my plump appearance (I mentioned in another post that they
nicknamed me Jell-O) – In response to this bullying; I starved myself to lose weight. 

In my teens I was
unstoppable in a quest to be fit and keep the weight off; I subjected my body to weight lifting,
biking, jogging, swimming, tennis and more and limited the food I consumed in an effort to keep the weight from going back up the

After pregnancy at the age of seventeen after gaining 80lbs I starved myself once again
eating three yogurts a day for a month in the hopes of regaining my figure.  I did lose all the weight but I left myself vulnerable to illness, weakness and malnutrition. 

I tried the cookie
diet, slim fast, jenny craig, weight watchers, cutting carbs and everything
else that came on the market. In my late twenties and thirties I was a yo-yo up
and down constantly from failed attempts at losing the weight.

In 2006 I finally
lost 70lbs and I was on top of the world, happy as a clam at this
accomplishment but it was short-lived and painful.  I started to have issues
with foods.  It was more and more difficult for me to stay on a diet and slowly
the weight came back. I ended up at the hospital emergency unit more than once
holding my abdomen as it swelled to one side, food stuck in my colon from poor digestion causing pockets.

Last year I started
the weight loss again, almost immediately I was having problems with digestion
and not to sound gross – my bowels. Food was not getting through and I was left
bloated and in pain once again. 

I finally came to
terms with my body weight after having a conversation with a co-worker named
Margaret. I was constantly talking about my weight, obsessed with the bulges I
could see and filled with remorse when I didn’t see the number go down on the

Here is what
Margaret said to me; “My mother was always on a diet, always trying to
lose weight and when she finally did it was because she was diagnosed with
Cancer and died…She lost the weight but for what!!”

I have to say this
was something I needed to hear, I started researching the foods I was eating
and making sense of it all. I found a great article about the myth of whole
grains but thought you might enjoy this post from a blogger I encountered

The reality is that
Diet Products and Marketing Hypes for weight loss are a dime a dozen. Whole
grains for example are difficult to digest and usually ingested by animals, our
bodies are not equipped to process these and they leave us feeling hungry
rather than full. I was constantly hungry (unsatiated). They also cause issues in your colon…after the last colonoscopy the doctor recommended Fibre One.  This works better than any whole grain could.

I kept researching
other foods and I came to realize that I need to eat what feels right for my body not
what’s right for everybody
. I’ve since gotten rid of low fat foods, margarine
and whole grains. It’s not all about weight loss but rather it’s about feeling comfortable but more importantly feeling satisfied.

My obsession with
my looks has not disappeared; I’m still battling the turkey-butt upper lip and
the muffin top. I eat white bread, white rice and white pasta, I drink water
and coffee, my meals are balanced, I put butter on my steamed veggies not
margarine and I no longer feel hungry all the time – each meal is actually
satisfying.  I still have the digestive issues – they might never go away, some of the damage might be irreversible.  What I strive for is to be comfortable.

I’m not writing
this post to discourage anyone from losing weight or dieting, I just simply want to
share with you this thought: What you take away or add to your meal can become
a bigger medical issue down the line so please make sure to educate yourself
about food and research the consequences before including or excluding it from
your meal.

Here is what a
healthy Gail looks like weighing 199lbs. I post pictures weekly to remind myself I’m
beautiful just the way I am. 

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