I created a profile on a dating site; I set up some pictures and a few details about myself. It is flattering to receive requests to meet and messages from would-be courters. I have not responded to any of the requests to meet or chat and I will tell you why further down the page of this story.
One comment I received really stood out from the others, most of which were generic – like – Hi how are you? and What’s up? The one that stood out was from a guy who asked me a question; “how is a beautiful woman like you still single?”
The funny thing and the “eureka” moment I had came as I pondered this question. You see the reason it stood out is because I have wondered the same thing myself?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and a fairer comment does not exist. External beauty alone has nothing to do with a long-term relationship developing into more than a one night stand. It is only a very small percentage of the criteria for success in finding a life-mate.
In a quest to find the truth about relationships and as I quiet down my fairy-tale illusions, I am putting myself back on the dating block.
You are probably saying to yourself, when were you off the market Gail? I was never physically off but I have taken the time to get to know myself better emotionally and spiritually without the perceptions or interferences of others, I consciously opted to be single. I concentrated on working on acceptance, making myself a priority in my life, spending time alone and learning more about what makes me tick, by the way it’s not a clock that’s for sure.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve had moments of weakness, loneliness and anger but quietly, I’ve let go of my unrealistic fairy-tale expectations and I’ve healed with your help through the pages of Gailsforum.
Now I am back wholeheartedly, I am fully ripe and it doesn’t mean that I am desperately seeking Tom, Dick or Harry. I am simply making myself emotionally available and curious to the possibilities. My energy level is gaining speed and I love where I am today, open to new adventures and enjoying the journey once again.
My friends, co-workers and family are also a big part of this and I love the advice, laughter, comments and support we are sharing together. It has helped me to realize that by taking down the wall and exposing vulnerabilities, I’ve gained so much.
In the beginning I mentioned I would talk about why I am not actively on any dating site…
well it is because I am currently dating someone :))
I met him a few weeks ago in person, not online and we exchanged phone numbers. Until now, we have simply spoken on the phone but last night we had our first date. We went to see The Hunger Games.
Afterwards we stopped and chatted over a few beers and he drove me home before the stroke of midnight. We had a lovely time, he was a considerate date and it was so nice to be treated like a lady.
Yes I know for all the times I’ve talked about having a strong personality, truth is I am still a girly girl at heart. Femininity, I’ve come to realize is not something you lose by allowing someone to be kind and considerate or who expresses concern with your overall comfort, it feels totally awesome to be treated like that.
My co-worker Eliza and I chatted this morning about “the first date” she said she could see the gleam in my eyes (oh oh), that is not good news; I don’t want to come on too strong. Her feedback was so relevant and it summed up what I need to focus on.
I always assumed I should just be myself – I guess too much Gail in the beginning can be just a tad overwhelming and maybe even scare the bejeebers out of a man. I must tighten the reins and pull back or as Eliza so eloquently states: “Handling a man is like flying a kite; you have to release the length of the string to allow the kite to fly higher with the wind but ALWAYS hold on to the bridle (be in a passive control) and know when to pull it back.
Eliza, Sarah and Sylma who work with me are great role models when it comes to relationships I’m truly blessed that they are all willing to guide me. It’s never to late to learn as they say :))
Mirror, Mirror on the wall…who is the fairest of them all?
Snow White is fairest in every way; because of her character, sincerity, and beauty. She is a beautiful person in every way and so am I, the external shell that holds my heart and spirit are simply beacons of the true beauty I reflect.
Now I just need to learn how to fly a kite :))
- How To Make A Kite (simple-green-living.com)