Get Off Your High Horse Prince Charming


I’ve stopped looking.  Seriously!!! I’m not joking with you.  I am not looking for a relationship.

Do you want to know why?

The truth is I don’t feel I can be in a “good” relationship…

Therapy, self-analysis, judgements, advice from friends & family and dating itself have accomplished just one thing….Convinced me that I am not capable of having a one-on-one healthy relationship at this time.

So I’m not going to wish, dream or try to have one.  Believe me when I say, this is a good thing.  I’ve spent way too many years telling myself the goal for me as a woman was to be in a relationship and the fact that I no longer feel I need one is an accomplishment in itself.

Guess what it means?  I love myself, I no longer want to settle, I am enjoying my company, I am pursuing new interests but most of all I am being me, fully me, without hesitations, worries or boundaries.

I wrote this as a status on Facebook the other day: “You know I’m fucking beautiful is what I say to the mirror to convince the woman staring back…the swears are for emphasis cause I don’t think she is convinced.”

I guarantee you, I would have never put this status up a year ago.  First of all I didn’t want others to know my flaws, I was always trying to please others and I didn’t want to come off insecure.  HA!!! that has changed.  I am not hiding behind a defensive wall any more.  I am GAIL and I am embracing the good, the bad and the ugly.

The relationships I’ve had in the last nine years since I got divorced, if you want to call them relationships lol, were lessons I needed to learn, as I once read…bad men come along to show good women what love is really about.

When you date a man who calls you crazy for walking away from nothingness, question who is truly crazy and I can assure you it isn’t you.  I’m done begging for more romance – I can buy my own flowers, I don’t need companionship – I prefer to hang out with my friends. I’m done fitting into someone else’s life, I want to enjoy mine to the fullest.

As I visualize Prince Charming now, he isn’t on a horse (by the way in Chinese Astrology I am the Horse), he isn’t perfect and he is not looking to play house in fact I have no idea what he looks like.  The only image I have in my mind is of me; better, stronger, healthier, fearless with long hair and a smile from ear to ear.

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I keep making small changes, they are starting to add up and this year in 2014 I will conquer.

10 comments

  1. You sound like you are on the right track Gail… that is where I am aiming to get… I think once I get back into working out I can focus on that and forget about a relationship for a while, just work on myself to be the best me. This was a great post as usual Gail ❤

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  2. Hi Gail nice to met you. Thanks for following me i look forward to getting to know you. I like your attitude. I chose to leave the man I raise my kids with for 23 years. Never mailed he married a woman named Gail after we broke up. That was painful.

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