In keeping with last week’s big twist, if you didn’t get a chance to read it here it is : http://gailsforum.com/2014/02/04/my-inner-facebook-wall/. The sentence that I am going to start this blog post with is the one I ended with last week….
My Goal is to Let Go and Let God.
As a child I was a big fan of the animated program The Flintstones, what I didn’t realize was why I was so fascinated with that particular show?
Fred Flintstone went by another name – Peter, my father ( a loud mouth, charismatic man).
Wilma Flintstone went by another name as well – Gabrielle, my mother ( a small petite, delicate woman).
In my household the same scenario played out night after night; mom rushing to get dinner on the table, dad – the almighty king of the household got served first and received the biggest portion of food.
I watched as she had to ask permission for everything including asking to run an errand, use the car or even go to bed.
When things didn’t go smoothly, the loud boom of my father’s voice restore order and left me with an upset stomach.
This is not what I wanted from a relationship but in my household it was life and it was the relationship I vehemently worked my butt off to avoid.
I didn’t want to ask permission, I didn’t want to wait on someone to eat or go to bed, so I did what any girl with common sense could and would do – I rebelled.
In each relationship I had, I wore the pants so to speak. I was Fred and they were Wilma. I didn’t want to be delicate and ruled by anyone.
What ended up happening was that by being so afraid to be in a controlling relationship like my parents, I sabotaged any chance of having one at all.
We do have define roles in relationships, roles that we should want but not ones that are forced on us. I realize now that I simply refused to compromise at all, it was my way or the highway. How can anyone have a relationship without compromise? It is the cornerstone of a relationship.
So I’m letting go of Fred & Wilma, forgetting about the judgements and fears of the past and I am preparing my heart to love again, not today and maybe not tomorrow but someday.
Finding or being found by love requires only one thing – to be ready.
Yabba Dabba Doo – For Valentines I hope you find your Fred or Wilma :))