I am…


 

Haunts~SpiritGuides~~element19

The majority of people fear happiness much more than they desire it.

They will be basically unhappy, feeling that life passes them by, that it is meaningless, that they somehow miss out on it.

Their capacity to experience pleasure is very limited; they are numb, lifeless, and trapped in apathy. They are distrustful, negative, and withdrawn from life.

They have a great resistance to looking within themselves for the cause of their suffering.

I am resisting no more, here is a true and complete look inside of me (the good, the bad and the ugly).

I am more than the weight I carry on my shoulders.  I am more than the tears that flow from my eyes.  I am more than the professional opportunities that have passed me by.  I am more than the balance in my bank account.  I am more than the sexiness that I exude.  I am more than the space I take up in my bed.

I am more than the wrinkles that line my face.  I am more than the imperfections that haunt me.  I am more than the fairy tale I long for.  I am more than the advocate for others.  I am more than the woman longing to be held tight.  I am more than the anxiety that plagues my life.

I am more than the perceptions others have of me.  I am more than the projects I take on.  I am more than the things that make me laugh.  I am more than the songs that touch my soul.

I am not and never will be perfect.  I am not consumed by greed; I seek recognition for being me.  I strive to be a better person and I dream of being thin, pretty and loved.

I want love, nothing more and nothing less.  I want to die knowing I was a good person.  I want to live like there is no tomorrow.  I want to grow and learn and I always thrive to be connected to someone or something.

I easily lose interest in almost everything.  Someone or something needs to have meaning or draw out my passionate side to garner my constant attention.

I hate those moments right before I go to sleep, when I am forced to think about all the things I have tried so hard to forget.  When I feel offended, betrayed, or taken advantage of, I will experience an immediate change in how I feel towards others.

I have the ability to see things in a way that others can’t or don’t even think to. I have an uncanny and unique sense of analysis, which makes me a great out-of-the-box thinker.

It’s in my nature to be a know-it-all. So don’t be put off when it seems I think I know better, I cannot help myself, I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t share my thoughts.

I can’t seem to figure out how to communicate my feelings to those I love, sometimes I feel like an alien speaking a different language.  I easily get upset, I am overly sensitive and I sometimes feel incapable to speak, in those times I get angry at myself.

I am Crazy, Loud, Shy, Quiet, Outspoken, Opinionated, Sarcastic, Stubborn, Passionate, A Dreamer, Smart, Trustworthy, A Life-Lover and Honest.

Once you find this tendency within yourself , you have made a tremendous step toward self-hood and liberation. For you are then incredibly aware of the reality of life:  that your attitudes, your hidden thoughts and emotions, and nothing else, create your fate.

So I am opening up and changing my fate.

4 comments

  1. I have been going through something similar Gail … learning that although I desire a passionate love in my life… I am complete without it. Even though I am complete… it saddens me that it might not happen for me… you are right though, that and other things do not define who we are..

    Really good and thoughtful post Gail ♡

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