In theatre, an understudy is a performer who learns the lines of a regular actor or actress in a play.
Should the regular actor or actress be unable to appear on stage because of illness or emergencies, the understudy takes over the part.
For many years I played the understudy, I rehearsed and rehearsed the same lines over and over. These were the lines from my past. I knew them by heart, they were constant in every aspect of my life.
Then on December 28th, I got called to be the lead in the play. The play was called “Just Be Gail” and I was so excited to finally get chosen.
You see at some point, I came to the realization that I played a huge part in my own life.
I analyzed and deciphered events and played the martyr for years feeling other people were the cause of my misery.
It was easy to play the blame game while someone else was playing my part but on December 28th I stepped up to the front of the stage as the curtain came up and the lights shined bright.
I’m here and I’m strong, I’m confident and this is going to be about me. It’s funny to say it’s going to be about me since I’ve been accused many times of being self-centred, but it is all about me, not about the past, not about loneliness, not about what I did or didn’t get in life, not about my mother or daughter or boss or co-workers or friends.
Who I am today is all my doing.
I am choosing the path that fits me. I’m in the spotlight and I love it. For those who don’t like it and might get offended by the progress I make this year I can only warn you it’s not going to phase me.
Do I sound angry? It isn’t anger it is determination. Now that I got the part I am going to play me to the sound of standing ovations.
I love me, I really love me
The weight loss is ongoing but its only a chapter in the story that will unfold before your very eyes.
I’m so excited to share it all with you but I can’t give the ending away :))