It has been a MONTH since I had a cigarette.
I don’t think I would have believed you if you told me I would be a non-smoker at this point in my life – but here I am.
The funny thing is, a month into it – granted it was with hard work (mindfulness meditation) and utilizing an E Vapour but I actually don’t remember why I ever thought I needed to smoke or couldn’t quit.
I know that like an alcoholic, I will always be a nicotine addict – I refuse to call myself an ex-smoker, I can never let my guard down and think for a moment that I can have just one cigarette or even a puff…I absolutely cannot.
I can honestly say I didn’t realize how many people were rooting for me to succeed at beating this addiction but before I get ahead of myself I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support :)) especially the other former smokers who have shared their stories and are extremely excited about me joining their side.
I decided this year 2015 would see a new Gail emerging – A healthy, fit, confident, sexy and vivacious woman.
I am reminded of the movie Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts. There is a scene where she is trying different styles of eggs for breakfast at Richard Gere’s suggestion. She had always liked the ones “the current man in her life” liked. Finally Richard Gere convinces her that she doesn’t even know what she really likes. So she makes all the different styles of eggs and proceeds to taste them all – in the end she finally picks the style of eggs she likes.
The same can be said about me. I have spent many years thinking I liked something but it wasn’t really me, I did it to please others. I can be really honest about that now.
It is my time to taste the various styles of eggs so to say and to figure out what I really like and so far I know the following.
I really don’t like cigarettes
I do love Criminal Minds
I really love dancehall music
I really enjoy spending time with my grand daughter
And I still like younger men.
This is the time where I need to be focused, work through the fibromyalgia pain and find a way to be what I visualize I can be – a fit, confident woman.
I have never wanted to be at the top of anything, I have wanted success but success to me looks like being appreciated for doing a good job.
In this case, all that I am doing is not to outshine or outwit anyone, it is simply to top myself, to prove to myself that I can do it.
So Happy Health-A-Versary to Me and my daughter today for being Smoke Free :))