I am in a better place, No! No! don’t worry I’m not dead. LOL this would be considered a Ghost or as they say in Jamaica a Duppy Blog ha! I couldn’t resist.
What I mean to say is that slowly life is shifting into place just like a puzzle, all the pieces are coming together perfectly.
I have loss 8.5lbs up 3.5 from the original 12 I lost prior to quitting smoking. I realize my fear of gaining a lot of weight after quitting has not materialized. I can deal with this little weight gain of 3.5lbs and for now I wear it like battle scars. This is one war that I’m winning :))
It is Day 38 of the non-smoking journey and I feel fantastic :)) I will be starting Cardio Kick Boxing this week with my daughter, I am excited to do this. I will be resuming swimming and I’m also planning to ramp up walking. It is time to kick this into high gear and I have a goal to lose 25 lbs by June so two months to work at it. The first 10 lbs are technically water weight so don’t worry this is very doable in that time frame.
I can’t even start to tell you how good I feel right now. I think the best part of it all is the confidence I’m gaining in myself overall. I have just gotten to a place in my life where I realize how lucky I am to wake up every morning to see another day and I don’t want to miss a moment of it worrying over things that are not within my control.
Ooh that reminds me of the song by Aerosmith I don’t want to miss a thing, here it is I absolutely love this song :))
All I can do is smile and enjoy life, stress will come and stress will go…I just don’t want to spend my time focused on the negativity when there is so much beauty for me to focus on and the realization that all the time I spent wasting away cannot be re-captured but I can look at today and enjoy every simple second of it.
It is true that I hope to find “the one” but I’m not desperate for it to happen, that is the difference.
I’m not obsessing over it and I’m not settling for anyone or anything in the meantime if you get my drift. I’m just comfortable with being alone at the moment and sorting out my own issues, I do not need to waste my time being someone’s bed warmer or hookup in the meantime. It took a very long time for me to get here, To look past the need to feel wanted.
I’ve signed up on a dating site, I mean I can’t expect anyone to find me if I don’t at least put myself out there to be found :)) I’m having fun but I must say that some of these guys don’t even ask one question, it’s like pulling teeth…last time I checked I am not a dentist LOL.
I am in no hurry, love and all that God has planned for me will arrive when its time. I am using my single days/months/years to figure out where I want to go and what makes me tick. I am pursuing my passions. I am focused on my education. I am managing my finances. I am paying off all my debts. I am discovering my worth and I chose to no longer believe the lie that I was too fat to be in a relationship. I am learning to let go of the portrayal of the perfect man that would take my breath away and fill me with purpose, and God is teaching me how to find my significance in Him.
God is writing my love story and I know it will be a good one :)))