Junk in My Trunk

Me and Mrs. Jones a rendition from one of my favourite male artist @michaelbuble is blaring in my headphones, stirring up a feeling of swaying in my heart and soul and some serious head bopping while taking me far away into the world of solitude.

But I sigh heavily – yes I am still very much single.  Don’t get me wrong I’m sighing because I simply don’t have the energy or head space to contemplate a relationship at this moment, even though having a strong pair of arms around my waistline would be nice. It is alas the furthest thing from my mind…once a priority but now quickly gathering dust on the shelf of life.

What I am looking for in a man has changed immensely, mostly because I refuse to hide, pretend or deny that these health issues I have do not exist…they really do. They are very real, they affect my daily life and they are part and parcel of the GAIL package.

The new list of characteristics I seek in a suitable suitor now include;

  1. Has a calming effect on anxious women
  2. Must be funny
  3. Understands embarrassing moments
  4. Can pretend he didn’t smell anything
  5. Spends much of his time outdoors (to encourage me out there)
  6. Doesn’t smoke (I am 8 months smoke-free)
  7. Inspires enthusiasm
  8. Promotes healthy living
  9. Music aficionado
  10. Young at heart

Health issues are at the forefront of my every waking moment, I am starting to see a correlation between my emotions and physical well-being, I have concluded that they are sadly very much intertwined and unfortunately I can’t seem to find a perfect balance.

I am often relieved when for a short time the symptoms subside and I quickly think it must be something I did right so I repeat the process of diet, sleep, exercise but I am quickly duped to realize it is all back once again and it had nothing to do with my juggling act.

When my defences are down I am prone to feeling weak, tired, sensitive and extremely moody (more than usual) which doesn’t help when I’m trying to make friends especially dating :))

My down time now consists of mind-numbing myself in front of the television all weekend to calm my over-active gut, not ideally the circumference of my derrière is increasing with what they call “junk foods”, which was truly aptly named as it really does add junk in the trunk, how clever.

OK let’s look at Junk Food more closely, if we believe what is being said, almost every food we eat that is not from the ground or a tree is considered Junk Food including bacon, hot dogs, orange juice, fat free yoghurt, gluten free pasta and even sugar free snacks are all junk.

No wonder we keep increasing how much is contained in our Trunk…seriously unless we all become rabbits and eat purely lettuce we are all doomed to excessive weight, diabetes, IBS, stomach related ailments and cancer. Recently they added processed meats to the list of things that can contribute to the causes of cancer. The question now becomes…what does not contribute to cancer?

The biggest mistake I made was changing my food habits. The up and downs of dieting have wreaked havoc on my body and now the consequences are these stomach issues plaguing me.

I hate to be a Debbie Downer but as I continue my journey to a better health, I need to keep it real.

The Junk in this Trunk has gotta go.

Happy Halloween and eat the candy, it is less likely to hurt you than bacon.




  1. I know what you mean Gail… I had to eat pretty clean to lose the weight I did. When I ‘treat’ myself boy do I feel it… I have all kinds of symptoms. I’m back to eating better and I’m feeling better… that and and drinking a ton of water. I rarely eat diet food or low calorie xox

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.