As I walked into the gym the other night for my #bodycombatclass @goodlifefitness, I saw this guy with the most amazingly fit Adonis body (In Greek mythology, Adonis was the God of beauty and desire).
The expression on my face was a look of “I’d tap that” eyes slightly closed, mouth partly open, tongue pressed upward on my palette, head tilted to the side, which was totally caught by the guy behind the counter who zoned in on my gawking. I said “you saw that huh!” he said “yup”. I walked away feeling only a wee bit embarrassed and totally pumped for my workout.(Insert fanning motion and a sigh of Oh My!)
On Saturday I did a #ZumbaClass I’m really enjoying the classes, they are much more entertaining and I made a new friend Jacky who will hopefully become a regular gym buddy.
Life after fifty is pretty good so far. I feel very different these days, in a good way. I don’t feel as tormented as I usually do. I am not lonely or feeling left out. I think I finally have a grip on my life and a bit of contentment.
I recently submitted a short story for a contest through @TorontoStar, the story is called Gabrielle Forget and is dedicated to my Mom who passed away just prior to Christmas this year.
I miss her so much, sometimes that little gasp of sadness just leaves my throat and my eyes tear up for no reason, while I was writing the story it was tough to write the emotional parts about my Mom but they needed to be said and I’m so proud and thankful that I finished it.
Today is my 2 year anniversary as a non-smoker, I can’t believe I actually did it.
Things aren’t perfect, they never will be and I don’t expect them to be but I’m content and it feels pretty good.
After my Mom passed away I had this urgent need to make changes, I will tell you this, sometimes a change is no change at all.
I’m extremely happy with the people in my life, I am surrounded by some amazing friends and co-workers.
I am currently trying to figure out my devious need to hit the Salted Caramel Gelato when things are going well, it feels like a self-sabotage and I’m not quite sure why I’m doing it but I want to finally get to a point where food is not my life.
I did find one interesting correlation between weighing myself and wanting to binge. It seems that knowing where I am on the weight spectrum works two ways for me.
- If I’ve gone down substantially I want a reward and to test if having food off my list will move the numbers (I know it sounds insane but I must note that I used to be a gambler and I’m extremely competitive even with myself).
- When the number isn’t going down as quickly as I’d like it to, I get discouraged and once again the gelato wins out.
OK so I think we are clear on what I need to do to stop wanting to sabotage my progress – I need to throw out my scale. So I am going to do that, tonight is trash night so perfect timing.
Oh! it’s Body Combat tonight and maybe I’ll get a little eye candy on the way to class :))